Long time, no write

It's been a while. I blame myself.

I've been in one of those slumps that we work ourselves into when not much else is going on.

Pick one: The pre-winter slump, the self-pity slump, the lonely slump, the I-quit-smoking-and-feel-like-being-a-hag slump.

My slump was a combo. Three for one. Equal parts self-pity, pre-winter and non-smoking hag. I was a real pleasure to be around.

It starts the way these things usually do -- for no apparent reason.

The days are sunny and bright! You've slept for seven hours two nights in a row! Gone are the urges to murder the slow grocery store check-out woman! More work, less pay? $2.10 for a gallon of gas? A goofy Texan in the White House? Zippiedty-do-dah!

Any sane woman knows that a little alone time is a good thing. A little more than a little is a pretty good thing, although dangerous. Some alone time is not a good thing. A great deal of alone time should at all costs be avoided or you can kiss your good mood goodbye. (For the record, alone means truly alone. Either you're alone on a mountaintop in Tibet or your neighbors are out of town, your housemate's gone, your cell phone's been cut off and your friend at work is on vacation... you get it)

I consider four days alone a great deal of alone time. My slump was coming on fast.

Day one: I feel good.
Day two: I still feel good. Strange...
Day three: Why do I feel so damned good?
Day four: Something bad must be about to happen. Joy without pain? It's virtually unheard of.

The details are so boring they aren't even funny. So I won't bother.

When I was tired of hearing myself think, when the sound of my own voice in my own head irritated me, I knew slump had just about run its course. There's a fine line between slump and self-loathing, and it isn't one I'm willing to cross.

Hello, inspiration? Yeah, doll, it's me Kitty. Look, I've been on a major self-pity bender, and I'm over it, ya know? Special delivery me a large dose of reality with a side of get overits. And a large glass of be gratefuls why you're at it.

Sheesh, me.