Talk right

Last week after winning Talladega for the fifth time, Dale Earnhardt Jr. -- in a fit of self-deprecating glee -- recalled the memory of his legendary father, Dale Earnhardt, who was killed in the 2001 Daytona 500, declaring, "It don't mean [expletive] right now. Daddy's won here 10 times." [Washington Post]

That got NBC and NASCAR's panties in a bunch, so they fined him $10,000 and docked him 25 points (whatever that means).

Thank you very much NBC for jumping on the George Bush bandwagon and protecting us from evil-doers. Heaven help the networks if the religious right no longer tuned in.

Of course cursing, especially when it's unnecessary, is tacky. We wonder, however, why NBC can't start start tackling the world's larger problems and impose fines for a larger sin -- terrible grammar.

Dale's is pitiful.

He's a 29-year-old man. It's time to talk like a grown-up. If his mother doesn't have enough sense to teach him to talk right, we'll take it upon ourselves.

First, little Dale, deddy's ded. Talking about him in the present tense isn't going to bring him back.

Second, [expletive] isn't a synonym for the word "anything." "Much" would have been a better alternative. We even would have tolerated "a lot." If you absolutely and positively draw a blank and cussin' is all you can think to do, try "crap," though it's not reccommended.

And finally, if it doesn't 'mean anything right now', are we to assume it will mean something in a few minutes? In a week?

Is this some sort of deal you have worked out with the networks to get us to watch the 11 p.m. news?

Dale, you seem like a "say what you mean, mean what you say" kind of man. How about givin' it a try.

Moving on...

My resourceful sister-in-law in Georgia passed on a great tip. Dryer sheets are as indespensible in the home as duct tape and superglue (no wonder they put so many in one box). Use dryer sheets to eliminate odors just about everwhere, including your husband's shoes.

While we like the smell, things that fly and sting don't, so stick one in your back pocket the next time you're working in your yard.

They're also super for picking up dust and, of course, removing static cling for televisions and computer screens. Thanks, MEB!

In other news, finding energy in exercise; good tips for ladies looking for love; save the world and make money, too; and a Virginia favorite, apple cider, falls on hard times.